Seven Steps to Self Discovery

Step #1 to Self Discovery: Face Your Demons.

Understandably, examining your life under a microscope can be discomforting and an unpleasant exercise. I know. I have been through it. However, you will be grateful for starting the process of self discovery, because rewards unfold when you know more about yourself.

You need to confront your emotional issues and weaknesses, because they reveal the separation from the real You. The real You is an authentic, loving and nurturing self. However, these negative parts add destructive layers to your Being, causing you distress and disharmony.

Negative beliefs tend to pervade every aspect of your life. If you have feelings of low self worth, then you are likely to carry them in the relationships you have at home, in the office, with your friends, relatives and loved ones.

If you find yourself coming up short, do not beat yourself up either. Instead, understand the separation and see if you can make improvements to your behavior, thoughts and emotions. Uncovering answers will help peel off layer-by-layer the negative thoughts that have been imprinted in your mind since ages ago. These negative thoughts and beliefs have been your obstacles to inner growth.

Learn to forgive yourself. When your outer Self is aligned with your inner Being, you will feel happy and free!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

Step #2 to Self Discovery: Celebrate Yourself

The process of self discovery is not just about unearthing nasty stuff about yourself. It is also about celebrating yourself. For a start, you celebrate who you are by acknowledging your strengths and abilities. As you become more aware of what you are good at, you lessen the list on any perceived weaknesses. Find ways to love yourself.

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, “I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.”
– Mariah Carey (American Singer. b.1970, New York,USA)

A position of strengths can come from knowing what you enjoy. List down activities that you like doing currently or have enjoyed in the past. Find out what makes your heart sing. Find out what keeps you excited. Find out what inspires you. These are the things that strengthen the sense of self.

Step #3 to Self Discovery: Ask Yourself: What Is Your Life Purpose?

It is important to ask yourself what you want out of life and work towards it. Aligning with your soul purpose brings about fulfilment. Without a purpose and direction, you are going to feel like a ship going nowhere. If you are going to continue in this manner, chances are you are going to experience regret while on your deathbed.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” – Robert Byrne

Hence, start by listing down everything you would like to achieve.What are your dreams and goals?  The one that stands out is the one that has made you cry or that has resonated best with you. You may also want to use the opportunity to consider your life goals in all aspects: physical, mental and spiritual.

Step #4 to Self Discovery: Clarify Your Core Values.

In the questioning process, ask yourself what your personal values are. Core values will be things like compassion, honesty, love, kindness, loyalty, etc. Clarifying your core values will give you an exact picture of who You are.

When I first worked on self-discovery, I was dismayed to find out that I have had no clear idea about what my core values are. I felt as if I have no personal identity. Later on, in an exercise, I worked on clarifying my values  in each role such as being a mother, wife, daughter and entrepreneur.

Knowing what your core values are forms a solid anchor for decision making. You no longer sabotage yourself by going back and forth, unsure of what you stand for. By clarifying your core values through self discovery, you raise your opportunity for success in anything that you do!

Step #5 to Self Discovery: Find Inspiration From Positive Things Around You

Self improvement books have been particularly helpful in discovering more about myself. They include Law of Attraction books, Conversations with God by Neale Donald Waslch and in understanding ego, Eckhart Tolle’s the Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.  These books prompted me to ask questions about myself and how I would want to live my life. Hence, if you still find it difficult to know yourself, look for books, teachers and coaches to help.

Being with nature is also a good idea. It is easier to connect with your authentic self when you are more relaxed. The answers that you seek, while in a state of mental relaxation, surface more easily.

Step #6 to Self Discovery: Spend Time For Self-Reflection and Meditation

To know a person, is to spend time with him or her. In the same manner, to build a relationship with yourself, you need to spend time getting to know more about yourself. You cannot know yourself well, if you are constantly surrounded by lots of noise, friends and family, or if you are always preoccupied in your mind and with things to do.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

To kickstart the process of self discovery, it may be a good idea to go on a meditation retreat. This is especially if you find it hard to think clearly amidst the everyday mayhem that is going on in your life. To know yourself intimately, make an exclusive date – away from your spouse or partner, kids, colleagues, boss and parents.

Time alone to meditate and reflect is productive time. You cannot expect to function well physically everyday, if you are out of balance in other aspects such as mentally and spiritually. Very importantly, consider putting aside “me” time on a regular basis. For myself, I choose to spend “me” time meditating, reading books or simply just Be.

Step #7 to Self Discovery: Journalling.

Get to know yourself better through the process of journaling. For self discovery, consider starting a blog. Just like this one.

Write about your likes and dislikes, and reactions to your various experiences. As you write, you are connecting to your authentic Self. Your posts can provide much needed clues about your emotions, strengths, weaknesses and areas that you never knew about yourself. They provide an opportunity for you to heal and grow.

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” – Orison Swett Marden

A Lifetime Of Self Discovery

self discovery 7 steps

“The key to living a magical life is to be authentic. Be who you are. Have the courage to say ‘no’. Stand in your own divinity.” 

Self discovery is NOT an a one-day or a one-week affair.

In fact, it can take a lifetime to discover who you truly are.

Ultimately, you want to strip away the layers of the false self, the labels and the identifications. It means finding out what they are and then, letting go of them. It’s only then that you can truly discover your true and authentic essence.

In the meantime, with better self awareness, you become clearer and clearer in what you want. Because the intent that you send out to the Universe is more authentic, you no longer experience any conflict or sabotage. The energy vibration of your intent is pure, untainted and strong. By the Law of Attraction, you attract the very thing that resonates well with your soul.

In conclusion, the more you know yourself, the more empowered you are going to be. A clear self understanding results in renewed confidence, centeredness and strength. You Live Purposefully and You Are Truly Happy!

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn Lim


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